The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
