i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The beers last night were like the tears from god
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
