oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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