I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
