I cannot find my penis.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize