yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
