getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You did what with his pubic hair?
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