This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
