she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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