You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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