Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Boobs are out for the taking
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
