Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
