Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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