it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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