Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
