Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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