there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize