i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
