im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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