Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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