I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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