hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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