You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
