So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You are the jesus of drinking
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
