Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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