Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
