What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
