You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
