New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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