I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
