I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Randomize
