But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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