She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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