haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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