I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
