Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
