We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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