do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
