what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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