marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
