I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
