Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
