she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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