The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
