Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
we should paint friendship bongs
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
