In the future we'll all be gay
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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