I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
