So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
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