When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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