So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
