I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
