i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
why is half of my head shaved?
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