you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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