I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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