i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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