halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
