We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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