Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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